The Children of Uganda

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

       Being a mother and living here in Uganda has been a challenge for me; the children of this country have been pulling so heavily on my heart strings.  Everywhere I turn there are toddlers without parents, babies without clothes and kids raising themselves.  Their shaved heads, protruding bellies and outstretched arms haunt me daily.  I suppose I was naïve in believing that the images we saw of Africa in the media were only a small number of the population, not the majority.  But as I come to see every day, Uganda is a poor country, rich in resources and hard-working people, but lacking in knowledge and training.

       Another hard part of being a mother here has been adjusting to the Ugandan style of parenting.  As you drive around you quickly notice that once a child can walk and feed themselves, they are free to do their own thing.  Every village you go through there are groups of toddlers playing together in the dirt unsupervised, little two year old boys in tattered shirts fetching water and four year old girls with their newborn siblings strapped to their backs.  The only glimpse of parenting you see is in church on Sunday or when a child has done something very wrong.  Just yesterday we were surveying in a village and a man with a stick and weeping young boy passed us.  They had only turned the corner and we heard the boy’s blood-curdling screams and the sound of the stick as it whipped across his skin.  Their ideas on discipline are so vastly different from mine and everything is done out in the open, regardless of who is around.  In the first week we were here, there was a baby about Theo’s age getting bathed and he did not like it.  Every time he stood up to try and get out the mother would backhand him across the face.

       I realize that I am new to this parenting thing and that spanking is still a widely accepted form of discipline in North America, but I believe there is a fine line between beating and disciplining.  Theo is getting to an age where he is starting to intentionally do things he shouldn`t and as such Andrew and I have been talking a lot about discipline.  We are still unsure of our plan of action, but we are continually praying for wisdom and God’s guidance as we choose what is right for our son.

       To offset my heartache, is the children`s great and abundant joy amongst all their sufferings.  They excitedly wave their hands at the sight of a “motor car” driving down their road and their imaginations are so colourful, making pieces of garbage into dolls or balls.  They work and play so well together, no parent having to tell them to share or be inclusive.  They take on responsibility without question, understanding that they too have an important role in their families` survival.  They understand school is a privilege that their parents sacrifice for and take on learning with open arms.  After seeing all their joy, I so strongly wish for my son that he will pick up on this same mentality.