The Great Divide

       Temporarily living in an Eastern warm culture, we have come to both appreciate many of the differences and despise some of the others.  From privacy to faith, time to gender expectations to attitudes towards education and sanitation, we have noticed a significant gap in our opposing cultures.  I suppose you can call our realization and frustration with these differences “culture shock,” but I feel like it is less of a shock and more of an awakening.  Shock to me sounds so serious, whereas I think this experience is just helping me to become a more rounded, thankful person.  WARNING: Please note that any observations I make from here on out are obviously generalized and not true for all Ugandans...I am writing from what I have seen and experienced.

       One of the largest shifts in thinking we have had to make is from independent to communal living.  Ugandans live a dependent lifestyle, relying on their families and communities to care for them when they are old, to mourn together, to spread news and to watch over their children.  It is beautiful the way they support each other through life, sickness and even death. Many times we have driven to work and passed group after group of brightly-dressed walkers, making the long journey to a distant town to attend a burial of someone they may have never met.  Privacy is almost unheard of, but there is not much of a choice since most live in one or two room mudhomes.  And they are so welcoming; if you walk on their property they run after you to offer you food and a place to sit.  In North America, you are lucky if the home owner asks you politely to get off their lawn, but far more likely to be chased down by an old geezer with a cane ;)

       We have also had to adjust to the Ugandan definition of necessity.  For starters, they put a higher price on education, than they do on food.  Many families eat only one meager meal a day so that they can send their children to school.  They largely overlook the need for cleanliness and nutrition.  Some may say it is just a lack of knowledge and different priorities, but I have noticed it is more about their fear of change and new things.  Even when they learn about the importance of being clean and boiling their water, they seem apprehensive to alter their behaviours.  As well, clothing’s sole purpose is to do just that: clothe you.  It does not matter if it fits, or if it was intended to be worn by boy or a girl.  In fact it doesn’t even matter if it has curse words and naughty pictures, as long as it covers most of you.   And just like clothes, food is only meant to feed you.  The concept of “not liking” a food is almost unheard of; they like all food as long as it fills their bellies and does not make them sick.

       The two differences I have had the most trouble becoming accustomed to are the gender roles and the definitions of time.  For those of you who know me well, I am a strong-willed, direct and not-overly-dainty woman.  Let me tell you, none of these characteristics jive well with this culture J  Someone once told me that in North America we may have watches, but in Africa they have the time.  Ugandans are more concerned with building relationship than keeping a tight schedule.  In business and everyday life, it is imperative that you take the time to ask how someone’s day is before you ask them any questions.  As for gender roles, let’s just say that Uganda is still in the 1960’s, with the exception of legal polygamy.  Men marry younger women and when their first wife is getting too old for their liking, they marry another one.  If a husband dies, his widow(s) is disowned by her in-laws, and will rarely remarry because a new husband would reject her children.  Spousal abuse, although publicly frowned upon, is still widely prominent, with many men believing it is their right to physically reprimand their wives for insubordination.

       Over the last two months we have felt a strong shift in our perspectives on life and I’m excited for what the next four months holds for us.

~Melissa